I'm full of comparisons and fallen attempts. This is not me and it's not natural, it's not normal to do this. There are so many beautiful things and I'm just another face on the train passing by on the road. One you might glance at but one you couldn't get to know. Show me a beautiful woman and I'll show you a man who's tired of looking at her. Gauge out these eyes then! Take them for they mislead the heart, they unrighteously mirror the humans soul. I don't like being this way, I should no longer dwell in the filth that is the human condition. What will he be like? Will he not be discouraged when he sees the naked me, uncovered from the pretentions of false modesty and culturally accepted behavior? Will he still see me as the ruby in the sky, one that's meant to be cherished and loved. We are not plastic beings, we were meant to be real and not superficial. You say you could understand me, but I don't get you at all. I don't know how to act around the insincere. I wasn't meant to be, I am floating freebird a million miles swimming flapping and wasting my energy trying to be you, trying to be your perfect thing. Your beautiful, unblemished thing that you see on the pages of the book that is called life. The images you are in love with. I am only a reflection of my Maker, the one who made it all possible for us to be this way.
Time is clicking away, this heart is thumping another day and it's getting weaker by the minute. I am walking down the street, breathing in and black mailing my peripherals. If you give me this, I will become a better person, I swear God. Just give me a new nose, a new hairstyle, a new anything and I WILL be a better person. That's how it works, doesn't it? Doesn't it God? NO. It doesn't, it doesn't work like a pawn shop. This life I have given you is NOT a pawn shop. You were blessed with what I have given you and in those gifts you will mature into the creation I have planned you to be. Pay no attention to the ideals of men for they know not what their heart desires. They only know what their flesh desires and that is corruption, greediness, lust, contempt and hunger for the darkness of this world. Anything that will increase their wallet, their penis or their ego. Mostly, all of the above. Never to increase their heart, their soul, their self-worth as a human I have created in my image.
Oh God, why does my mind turn itself on me? Why do I need medications to feel normal? That is the way you made me. Isn't it?
Time is clicking away, this heart is thumping another day and it's getting weaker by the minute. I am walking down the street, breathing in and black mailing my peripherals. If you give me this, I will become a better person, I swear God. Just give me a new nose, a new hairstyle, a new anything and I WILL be a better person. That's how it works, doesn't it? Doesn't it God? NO. It doesn't, it doesn't work like a pawn shop. This life I have given you is NOT a pawn shop. You were blessed with what I have given you and in those gifts you will mature into the creation I have planned you to be. Pay no attention to the ideals of men for they know not what their heart desires. They only know what their flesh desires and that is corruption, greediness, lust, contempt and hunger for the darkness of this world. Anything that will increase their wallet, their penis or their ego. Mostly, all of the above. Never to increase their heart, their soul, their self-worth as a human I have created in my image.
Oh God, why does my mind turn itself on me? Why do I need medications to feel normal? That is the way you made me. Isn't it?
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