It's feeling regretful, desperate, physical pain and self-destruction. It's the constant nagging in the back of your mind telling you that you will never be good enough. Telling you that you should just give up because no one is listening and no one really loves you. It's nearly impossible to forgive yourself. It's the vicious cycle that you thought you had victory over but only comes back to throw you in the race of contempt. Desperate depression is what I call it. I've felt it more than once, and probably have felt it more than positive elation. Does God want me to be this way? Or is it His counterpart, Satan that makes me this way? Is there a good and evil or is it just brain chemicals that make people depressed, murderous, or psychotic? Are brain chemicals to blame for poverty and greediness or is there really supernatural forces behind this insidiousness? We should work together to figure this out instead of fighting each other for who has the better facts or debating tactics. We were all created human, therefore all have the same physiological make-up but it is our brain chemicals, our social settings, and our earthly environment that make us all individuals.
I wonder about those who don't have access to medical resources such as anti-depressants or psychiatrists. Are they just supposed to "shake it off" and hope that they feel better in time? Perhaps it's their culture that frowns upon the use of chemical substances for mental deficiencies. Or perhaps it's lack of government funding for such luxury products. Whatever the case, people for centuries have found ways of overcoming sadness and even contemporarily, most European countries accept sadness as a fact of life. Sometimes the best medication is laughter, sometimes it's alcohol (although not recommended for the on-going blues). Sometimes it's just finding an outlet to release your emotional frustrations and focusing your attention somewhere else besides your own genetic defaults.
I hope that whoever discovers the answer to this mystery will come knocking on my door, if not with a magic lotion then with a great big smile and a bear hug.
I wonder about those who don't have access to medical resources such as anti-depressants or psychiatrists. Are they just supposed to "shake it off" and hope that they feel better in time? Perhaps it's their culture that frowns upon the use of chemical substances for mental deficiencies. Or perhaps it's lack of government funding for such luxury products. Whatever the case, people for centuries have found ways of overcoming sadness and even contemporarily, most European countries accept sadness as a fact of life. Sometimes the best medication is laughter, sometimes it's alcohol (although not recommended for the on-going blues). Sometimes it's just finding an outlet to release your emotional frustrations and focusing your attention somewhere else besides your own genetic defaults.
I hope that whoever discovers the answer to this mystery will come knocking on my door, if not with a magic lotion then with a great big smile and a bear hug.
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